Challenge Your Negative Thinking

Women over 50 women have a lot of living under their belt, in other words, we have seen enough of life to know that anything is possible yet we can still find ourselves thinking negatively in certain situations.  One of the key roles I play as an executive coach is to challenge my client’s negative thinking.  By challenging their negative thinking, I help client’s uncover the evidence and assumptions they use to form opinions and draw conclusions.  I help them discover the faulty thinking patterns that sometimes stand in the way of achieving their goals. 

Because thinking drives our behavior, faulty thinking can lead to misguided actions and missed opportunities.  Our thinking can be a great motivator or it can stop us dead in our tracks if we think there are insurmountable obstacles that prevent us from going forward. 

The good news is that you don’t need a coach to challenge your negative thinking patterns, you can do it yourself.  The next time you are stuck in a negative thinking pattern that prevents you from solving an issue or achieving an objective ask yourself the following questions:

1.     What evidence do I have that supports my current thinking?

2.     What other difficult situations have I successfully overcome that are similar to this one?    

3.     What can I use from my pass successes that will help me overcome the current obstacle I face?

Negative thinking doesn’t have to paralyze you.  Challenge it and get on with achieving your goals and celebrating your successes. 

What are negatives thoughts stopping you from doing?  How will you challenge those thoughts and have what you want?

Live Fierce and Fabulous, until next time.

Debra

I Am Not Too Old to_________________.

 Now that I am on the other side of 50, I rarely think there is anything I am too old to do.  Certainly there are clothes that I am too old to wear and the club and bar scene that I enjoyed so much in my 20’s and 30’s really doesn’t appeal to me anymore.  Beyond that I am open to trying most anything now. 

There are so many places I want to go like Africa and Prague.  So many subjects that I want to explore more deeply like art history and a few sports that I would love to learn to play, volleyball and tennis.  And oh yea, there is that dream of being a back up singer for Jeffrey Osborne.  I am making progress getting through my list slowly but surely.  This year on the sports front I went back to learning how to ski and took up boxing.  Yikes!  The old bones aren’t what they used to be.  Hoping to go to Prague this spring – have always wanted to go there since Queen Latifah’s movie Last Holiday.  And currently, I am taking the Self Expression of Leadership Course at Landmark Education, learning how to be more authenticate in my communication. 

How do you fill in the blank to the statement:  I am too old to____________?  Do you tell yourself that you are too old to take on a new challenge or do you have a list of must see and do?  What are the areas of life that you would like to take on? What experiences do you want to have? How are you doing in completing your list?

Live Fierce and Fabulous, until next time.

Debra

Hey, What’s Up with That Beard You are Growing?

Have you ever been at a meeting or event and sneaked off to the ladies room and are horrified when you look into the mirror and find hairs growing out of your chin?  Well join the club.  This has happened to me far too often and when it does I want to race to the nearest CVS and purchase a pair of tweezers (because using my fingers just doesn’t work) and assassinate those horrible signs of aging.  Unfortunately, it always seems like I either don’t have enough time to run out to make a tweezer purchase or it much too late and CVS is closed.  So I am stuck and I feel like dying.

Caused by changes as we get older in our hormonal balance or the result of medication we take, these embarrassing pesky hairs instantly retract from our appearance and send the signal – I am really old.  Whether it is my chin or lip, hair seems to sprout overnight and take center stage at the most public and potentially embarrassing situations.  Even worse, as I get older  the hairs are turning gray and it is almost impossible to detect them with my failing eyesight. 

So what is a Fierce and Fabulous Girl to do?  Try the following tricks I use to keep those hairs from making an appearance:

• Get a Standing Magnifying Mirror and Check Your Face Everyday – take a quick check for stray chin hairs in a magnifying mirror each morning right before you put on your makeup.
• Keep Tweezers Everywhere – I always have tweezers at the ready.  I have tweezers in my bathroom, handbag, brief case, makeup case and my favorite place - my car.  Yes, my car.  I found that the sunlight that comes through the windshield perfectly illuminates my chin hairs and it is the best way to detect particularly the gray ones.
• Waxing -  of course regular waxing will also help keep your face looking as smooth as a baby’s bottom.
• Ask for Help -  When all else fails, it is really important to have a friend or family member be your look out.  Ask them to let you know if you need to make a run for the tweezers.  

Until next time, Be Fierce and Look Fabulous!

Debra

Fighting to Stay in Shape

After my daughter was born 20 years ago, getting and staying in shape has been a challenge for me.  It started with not loosing all of the pounds I gained during pregnancy and than each subsequent year I gained a pound or two.  It has been a fight all these years to maintain a weight level that I am happy with.  My goal is certainly not to be the same weight I was in my 20s and early 30^s - my husband said I was too thin then anyway.  I would however like to be able to fit into size 8 and have a toned body.   Firm abs, arms and legs are a sure fire way to keep the Fierce and Fabulous lady looking younger than her years.  A toned body helps you feel more confident, your clothes fit better and you are able to wear styles that are trendier.

I have had some success with Weight Watchers and low or no carbohydrate diets but nothing seems to work for me better than watching my calorie intake and a vigorous workout a few times a week.  My goal is to eat 1000-1200 low fat calories a day and three days of vigorous exercise a week.   I recently joined a Boxing Club,  LA Boxing and I love it! The workout is rigorous and fun.  You work up a sweat while learning how to box.  You can burn up to 1000 calories in a 1-hour workout! 

So ladies to stay Fierce and Fabulous Over 50, watch the calorie intake and find a vigorous and fun exercise you love to do three times a week.

How do you like to stay in shape?  

Until next time, BE FIERCE and FABULOUS!

DEBRA

Is Your Wardrobe Dowdy or Daring?

Fifty and older can be a tricky time for finding the appropriate outfit to wear.  Wearing fashions made for the 20 or 30 something set can make us look silly while donning a more senior citizen look can make us look old beyond our years and dowdy.  So what’s a Fierce and Fabulous girl to do?  Your goal should be to look at least  5-10 years younger than your age.  You’ve heard the adage: “Age is just a number”,  so while you want to be age appropriate ( in the ball park of your age range) you also want to keep your look young and up to date by following these guidelines when purchasing wardrobe  basics:

1  * Hot Jeans: make sure they aren’t baggy.  Jeans should hug your shape without being too tight.  Dark washed is best with a rise that adequately covers your tummy to prevent a muffin top.  Ladies, there is no way around this one, you’ve got to try on a lot of jeans to find the right one for your shape.  I personally like CJ jeans by Cookie Johnson and Christopher Blue.  Both can be found at Neiman Marcus online.

Cookie Johnson Jeans:  http://www.neimanmarcus.com/category.jsp?itemId=cat24030731&parentId=cat8710735&masterId=cat000118

Christopher Blue Jeans:  http://www.neimanmarcus.com/category.jsp?itemId=cat4560732&parentId=cat8710735&masterId=cat000118

    *Killer Heels:  A fantastic pair of basic pumps can add youth to any outfit.  Go for as high as you can tolerate and solid colors without too much embellishment is more age appropriate for gals over 50.  

   

    Check out these from 9 West:  http://www.ninewest.com/All-Pumps/8346252,default,sc.html

    *Show Off Your Legs With a Dress or Skirt:  There is nothing that screams fresh and youthful than the right dress or skirt.  I prefer a sheath style dress over an A line and pencil skirts to full skirts.  No matter what style you choose, the important thing to remember is the right length.  For Fierce and Fabulous ladies over 50 the length of your skirt or dress should fall either right below the knee or right at the knee.  Anything longer makes us look dowdy and anything shorter is just not appropriate. 

 How does your wardrobe measure up? Is it dowdy or daring?  What do you need to update in your wardrobe?

Debra

Your Handbag - A Plus or Minus

What does your handbag say about you?  Does it speak sophistication or abomination?

Recently I attended a jazz festival and I found myself (as I often do), checking out what the ladies were wearing and gathering great fashion dos and don’ts.  For some reason that day I found myself focusing on handbags – don’t know why, maybe it was because some of the bags I saw were so hideous.  Women who were otherwise well dressed and polished were carrying handbags that detracted from their overall look.   A handbag should enhance your outfit or at the least be neutral (complimenting your look without competing with it).  Here are a few tips on how to bring out the Fierce and Fabulous in you by carrying the right handbag:

1. Pay attention to the condition of your handbags. Like everything you buy, handbags have a shelf life.  Once your bag becomes frayed, stained or generally worn out,  throw it out. 

2. You need more than one handbag.  At a minimum you need three bags – one for everyday, one for date night and an evening bag.

  

3. Select neutral colors like tan, black or red so that you can wear the bag with a variety of outfits in your wardrobe.

4. A structured bag always looks more polished than an unstructured bag.  Go for clean lines  that don’t had volume to your waist or hips.   

5. Don’t be afraid to carry a clutch.  It screams sophistication and confidence.  Check out this great Cole Haan date night clutch on sale now at Lord and Taylor online......

Cole Haan Clutch

How would you describe your favorite handbag?   What does it say about you?

Until Next Time….   

Debra

Easy and Sexy Date Night Outfit

Today’s Tip:  In the photo, I am wearing one of my new favorite outfits - a classic jacket with leggings.  The black tuxedo jacket is from Jones NY and I have paired it with black Hue faux leather leggings.  The leggings are fabulous, sexy and comfortable with a wide waistband that adequately manages my muffin top.  To make it fierce for date night, I wear a camisole the same color as the jacket instead of a tee shirt or blouse.  I like the yummie tummie line of camisoles because the cut is not too low and they provide extra hold for the tummy– a trouble spot for most of us Fierce and Fabulous ladies over 50. To finish the look I add sparkle to my face with bold and glittery earrings, slip on my black stilettos and I am all set for an evening looking fabulous out on the town.

What’s your new Fierce and Fabulous date night outfit?

PS:   Wish me Happy Birthday; today I am celebrating my 56^th!!!!!


http://www.jny.com/
http://www.hue.com/default.aspx
http://www.yummielife.com/shapewear.html?gclid=CJrkq6b-oq8CFcJM4AoduwvEYA

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