What Makes Me Beautiful

I believe that I am more beautiful now than ever before because I totally embrace myself as I am.  My life with all of its ups and downs is a tremendous gift that I am so grateful for.  I am no longer in the pursuit of a perfect life but living a life that is joyful, grateful and dedicated to making a difference for others.  Whatever I want my life to be, I have the power to make it happen - knowing that creates a beautiful feeling of inner peace that radiates out to the world.

My beauty is also reflected in my relationships and my work (paid and volunteer).  I have an incredible loving husband of 24 years and a beautiful daughter who is a junior in college.  Eight years ago I quit my job in the financial services industry and launched a new career as a consultant and executive coach, helping leaders in nonprofit organizations maximize their potential.  Last year on my 56^th birthday, I created Fierce and Fabulous Over 50 a blog and networking group for women over 50.  Recently I launched a project with two friends also dedicated to supporting women called The Life You Want Now.  I serve as a Advisory Board Member for the Darfur Rehabilitation Project an organization dedicated to bringing peace between the various ethnic groups in Darfur and Word of Life International, the largest food pantry in the Bronx, New York.  Through SEEDS I also mentor a high school senior through the college application process.   My beauty is reflected in all lives of those I have touched and hopefully transformed and to me that is no better reflection of my beauty!

Oops Should Have Posted This in January

I Don’t Have Time For That……

Now that I am over 50 a New Year takes on an additional meaning for me.  It is not only a time to reflect on the past year and make resolutions and promises to do better in the New Year, it is also a time for me to do some arithmetic.  How many more years do I have to live out my dreams?  How many more years do I have to make a difference?  These arithmetic word problems are the ones I find myself struggling to answer at the dawn of a New Year.   Because I know that if I am lucky, I have another 24 or so years left on this earth, (the average life expectancy of a woman in the US is roughly 80).  As the clock strikes midnight I am overwhelmed with a sense of urgency to get into action before its too late.

  

Getting connected to this reality helps me quickly get to what’s important and what doesn’t really matter or more to the point, what I don’t have time for.   I am ruthless around my priorities and have become quite comfortable with saying no to people or events that do not advance the achievement of my priorities.   Now that I am over 50 my time is too precious to spend a moment in frivolous activities or being unhappy.

My priorities  for 2013 are:

1.     Increase financial fitness by saving more and spending less.

2.     Increase physical fitness by eating healthy and exercising.

3.     Increase emotional and mental fitness by positive self- talk and fearless pursuit of my dreams.

4.     Increase human fitness by making a difference for at least one person each day.

What are your priorities for 2013?

Until next time, Be Fierce and Fabulous.

Debra

WE ARE LOVED!

One of the great things about being Fierce and Fabulous Over 50 is that over the years we’ve had the opportunity to give our love and care to many people – some for a short time and others for most of our lives.  If we are lucky, our husbands fall into the category of most of our lives.  Recently my husband and I celebrated our 24^th Wedding Anniversary.  It was an extremely busy time for the both of us.  In fact, we weren’t even together on our Anniversary.  He was in New Jersey and I was in Arkansas and then I went on to Boston after that.  We exchanged our love and wishes via phone and he promised to take me out to my favorite restaurant for dinner when I returned.

We both (at least that’s what I thought) moved on with our busy lives and quite frankly it slip my mind when I finally arrived home from Boston that we hadn’t formally celebrated our Anniversary.  Upon entering the house tired and frustrated from a five-hour delay at the Boston airport, I fell into his arms and announced that all I wanted to do is take a bath and go to bed.  As I moved towards the stairs to go up to the guest room bath where there is a tub that takes just a minute to fill, he strongly encouraged me to fill up the Jacuzzi in the master bath.  “After all, he said, you deserve it, you have been traveling for days.” But I was adamant that it would take too much time to fill up the Jacuzzi and I just wanted to quickly take a bath and rest my weary bones.  As usual, he wasn’t taking no for an answer and I finally submitted to his wishes (as I often do).  As I entered, the bedroom I was startled by a huge white box on the bed – I screamed and he laughed.  He unlike me had not forgotten to formally mark our Anniversary.  He had bought me an incredibly thoughtful and beautiful gift.  I felt so loved at that moment.

I share this story with you because I think as we get older we can forget how much we have impacted the lives of people around us over the years – our children, our husbands, sisters, brothers, parents and colleagues.  We have earned our Fierce and Fabulous stripes because we have extended our love and care to others for decades and now all of that love and concern is coming back to us many times over.  We need to bask in it and enjoy it.  We are loved and cherished in so many ways and we deserve it!

Have you had an experience that let you know how much you are loved and cherished by those close to you? Let us know.

Be Fierce and Fabulous until next time!

Debra 

Challenge Your Negative Thinking

Women over 50 women have a lot of living under their belt, in other words, we have seen enough of life to know that anything is possible yet we can still find ourselves thinking negatively in certain situations.  One of the key roles I play as an executive coach is to challenge my client’s negative thinking.  By challenging their negative thinking, I help client’s uncover the evidence and assumptions they use to form opinions and draw conclusions.  I help them discover the faulty thinking patterns that sometimes stand in the way of achieving their goals. 

Because thinking drives our behavior, faulty thinking can lead to misguided actions and missed opportunities.  Our thinking can be a great motivator or it can stop us dead in our tracks if we think there are insurmountable obstacles that prevent us from going forward. 

The good news is that you don’t need a coach to challenge your negative thinking patterns, you can do it yourself.  The next time you are stuck in a negative thinking pattern that prevents you from solving an issue or achieving an objective ask yourself the following questions:

1.     What evidence do I have that supports my current thinking?

2.     What other difficult situations have I successfully overcome that are similar to this one?    

3.     What can I use from my pass successes that will help me overcome the current obstacle I face?

Negative thinking doesn’t have to paralyze you.  Challenge it and get on with achieving your goals and celebrating your successes. 

What are negatives thoughts stopping you from doing?  How will you challenge those thoughts and have what you want?

Live Fierce and Fabulous, until next time.

Debra

I Am Not Too Old to_________________.

 Now that I am on the other side of 50, I rarely think there is anything I am too old to do.  Certainly there are clothes that I am too old to wear and the club and bar scene that I enjoyed so much in my 20’s and 30’s really doesn’t appeal to me anymore.  Beyond that I am open to trying most anything now. 

There are so many places I want to go like Africa and Prague.  So many subjects that I want to explore more deeply like art history and a few sports that I would love to learn to play, volleyball and tennis.  And oh yea, there is that dream of being a back up singer for Jeffrey Osborne.  I am making progress getting through my list slowly but surely.  This year on the sports front I went back to learning how to ski and took up boxing.  Yikes!  The old bones aren’t what they used to be.  Hoping to go to Prague this spring – have always wanted to go there since Queen Latifah’s movie Last Holiday.  And currently, I am taking the Self Expression of Leadership Course at Landmark Education, learning how to be more authenticate in my communication. 

How do you fill in the blank to the statement:  I am too old to____________?  Do you tell yourself that you are too old to take on a new challenge or do you have a list of must see and do?  What are the areas of life that you would like to take on? What experiences do you want to have? How are you doing in completing your list?

Live Fierce and Fabulous, until next time.

Debra

Hey, What’s Up with That Beard You are Growing?

Have you ever been at a meeting or event and sneaked off to the ladies room and are horrified when you look into the mirror and find hairs growing out of your chin?  Well join the club.  This has happened to me far too often and when it does I want to race to the nearest CVS and purchase a pair of tweezers (because using my fingers just doesn’t work) and assassinate those horrible signs of aging.  Unfortunately, it always seems like I either don’t have enough time to run out to make a tweezer purchase or it much too late and CVS is closed.  So I am stuck and I feel like dying.

Caused by changes as we get older in our hormonal balance or the result of medication we take, these embarrassing pesky hairs instantly retract from our appearance and send the signal – I am really old.  Whether it is my chin or lip, hair seems to sprout overnight and take center stage at the most public and potentially embarrassing situations.  Even worse, as I get older  the hairs are turning gray and it is almost impossible to detect them with my failing eyesight. 

So what is a Fierce and Fabulous Girl to do?  Try the following tricks I use to keep those hairs from making an appearance:

• Get a Standing Magnifying Mirror and Check Your Face Everyday – take a quick check for stray chin hairs in a magnifying mirror each morning right before you put on your makeup.
• Keep Tweezers Everywhere – I always have tweezers at the ready.  I have tweezers in my bathroom, handbag, brief case, makeup case and my favorite place - my car.  Yes, my car.  I found that the sunlight that comes through the windshield perfectly illuminates my chin hairs and it is the best way to detect particularly the gray ones.
• Waxing -  of course regular waxing will also help keep your face looking as smooth as a baby’s bottom.
• Ask for Help -  When all else fails, it is really important to have a friend or family member be your look out.  Ask them to let you know if you need to make a run for the tweezers.  

Until next time, Be Fierce and Look Fabulous!

Debra

Fighting to Stay in Shape

After my daughter was born 20 years ago, getting and staying in shape has been a challenge for me.  It started with not loosing all of the pounds I gained during pregnancy and than each subsequent year I gained a pound or two.  It has been a fight all these years to maintain a weight level that I am happy with.  My goal is certainly not to be the same weight I was in my 20s and early 30^s - my husband said I was too thin then anyway.  I would however like to be able to fit into size 8 and have a toned body.   Firm abs, arms and legs are a sure fire way to keep the Fierce and Fabulous lady looking younger than her years.  A toned body helps you feel more confident, your clothes fit better and you are able to wear styles that are trendier.

I have had some success with Weight Watchers and low or no carbohydrate diets but nothing seems to work for me better than watching my calorie intake and a vigorous workout a few times a week.  My goal is to eat 1000-1200 low fat calories a day and three days of vigorous exercise a week.   I recently joined a Boxing Club,  LA Boxing and I love it! The workout is rigorous and fun.  You work up a sweat while learning how to box.  You can burn up to 1000 calories in a 1-hour workout! 

So ladies to stay Fierce and Fabulous Over 50, watch the calorie intake and find a vigorous and fun exercise you love to do three times a week.

How do you like to stay in shape?  

Until next time, BE FIERCE and FABULOUS!

DEBRA